


Victory is not much

by orphan_account



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guardian Angels, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Teacher Katsuki Yuuri, Victor is a god, Victuuri Big Bang 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 03:52:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11328066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yuuri struggles with Anxiety and Depression on a day to day basis and Viktor happens to be his guardian angel.or,Viktor is a God that is allocated to Yuuri as his guardian angel, what he doesn't expect is to fall in love with him.





	1. Chapter One: The meeting

Yuuri sighed as he leaned against the wooden counter. It felt as though he had just been working six days not six hours. The aromatic fragrance of coffee beans filled his lungs as he rested his hands underneath his chin, staring off into space. He replayed the events of that morning in his mind, pushing his glasses up onto his fluffed up hair. Yuuri had just gotten off work from teaching his Year 2 class of students and had to continue marking the children’s spelling tests before the next day. 

The past few weeks hadn’t been so bad and instead brought relief to the young man. Yuuri actually had a student teacher helping him around the classroom and fortunately, all the children adored him. Yuri Plisetsky had transferred to Hasetsu Primary School in order to complete his training for his College degree. Although Yurio was somewhat of a disturbance some of the time, Yuuri found that Yurio was gradually becoming one of his closest friends. 

But today, however, was quite miserable from the moment Yuuri had woken up. It was one of those days, where no matter what he did, Yuuri’s depression would gobble him up and prevent him from feeling anything but shit. Yurio offered to take over and teach the students for the remainder of the day, but Yuuri didn’t have any willpower to neglect his job because of being deprived of all energy and emotion. 

Instead, he powered on through the rest of the day and when the day ended, wondered down to the small café to wind down. Which brought him to this point of groaning internally while he waited for his cup of coffee. 

He was starting to feel fidgety and restless, a common side effect of his anxiety but in that moment all Yuuri wanted to do was disappear and not have to deal with his anxiety or depression. He couldn’t explain why his brain worked the way it did, but he knew that he didn’t want any part of it anymore. He was just too tired. It was starting to become too much for him to handle.

A subtle clang hit the wooden counter, just loud enough to make Yuuri look up. In front of him, a worker stood behind the tabletop who had just placed Yuuri’s coffee down in front of his hands. He blew a sigh of relief and thanked the woman with a wave of his hand. The warmth of the drink spread through his fingertips as soon as he grabbed it. He knew coffee wasn’t at all good for his anxiety, but there was something about it that just made him feel calm. 

He sipped on his coffee absentmindedly, fully unaware of his surroundings. He was lost in his thoughts and the feeling of warmth engulfing his body. He thought about his students and how much joy they brought to him. Every day he was thankful to teach those kids and see them smiling. Never did he once regret his career choice but he always had the nagging thought in the back of his mind that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t cut out for it. 

As a child, Yuuri was constantly sick and so much of his schooling was missed because of it. From being in and out of the hospital to seeing psychologists that helped him with his frequent panic attacks, Yuuri – from a young age – never felt like he fit in. He believed he only made it through his primary school education because of his home group teacher who was always there for him when he needed it. She was who inspired Yuuri to become a teacher so that one day he could influence and have an impact on his student’s lives the way she did on his. 

But in the grand scheme, was Yuuri really succeeding in his goal? He felt stuck like he was in a continuous loop that would never end. He was constantly worried that he wasn’t a good enough teacher and that his students deserved someone better. Yuuri never ever wanted to see any of his students go through he what he did, and still, does to this day. It’s not something he’d ever wish on anybody.

********

A silent chime of the bell notified the quaint coffee shop that someone had just entered the store. It was just loud enough to pull Yuuri out of his thoughts and realise his drink was starting to become rather cold. Just perfect he thought to himself, mentally slapping himself for letting his drink go cold to the point that he wouldn’t be able to drink it. 

He sighed and turned his head to look around the café. There were a few couples situated around the small place as well as a few people sitting at tables with their laptops open typing away. Today had seemed to be a more of a quiet working day, which was more than fine for Yuuri. Usually, there were quite a few people sitting in the store, chattering away and laughing with their friends. Ever since the café had opened, many customers would come in and out daily. Yuuri would know this as the building was where he visited frequently after work before going home for the night. It also helped that his older sister worked at the café part-time when she wasn’t working with Yuuri’s parents. 

Just as Yuuri was turning his head back down to his drink, the corner of his eyes caught sight of the customer that had just made their way through the door. The person happened to be a man of tall stature with an exuberant smile on his face but the look of seriousness in his eyes. The man had extremely blue eyes and the most silver hair Yuuri had ever seen. He strode over to the counter and patiently waited for a worker to come over to the cashier. 

Yuuri zoned out at this point and looked back down to his now completely cold coffee and decidedly pushed it away from himself. He clasped his hands back together and started to twiddle his thumbs. Yuuri had decided that he was going to wait until his sister, Mari, had finished her shift to meet up with her. So he continued to sit at the counter and distract himself by staring off into space. 

Just as he went to place his hands back underneath his chin, a soft cough emitted from beside him and a steaming cup of coffee was held out to him. Yuuri was taken aback by the surprise and glanced up to the holder of the drink. It was the silver haired man that just entered the shop. He held a warm smile and concerned eyes, he shook the drink a little bit and then placed it down by Yuuri while holding one of his own. 

“Here, I noticed that your previous drink went cold.” The man spoke with a nod of his head.

Yuuri looked at the man, bewildered that the man went to the trouble of getting him a drink just because he noticed that the other one was cold. “Thanks, b-but you didn’t have to.”

He shook his head with a grin and observed Yuuri as he plonked himself onto the stool next to him. “It is fine, honestly.” The man responded while placing his drink down and holding out his hand, “I’m Viktor.”

Yuuri looked at Viktor, down to his hand, and then back up to Viktor. Without further hesitation, he reached for his hand, “Yuuri….Yuuri Katsuki.” 

Viktor smiled and retracted his hand. He turned back to his drink and gulped down a sip. Yuuri did the same and beamed internally at the warmth that flooded back through his system. He rested his hands on the side of the takeaway mug and viewed Viktor while he drank his coffee.

“Thank you… again.” Yuuri mumbled quietly and pointed towards the cup. Viktor looked up and waved him off with a flick of his hand. 

“I noticed that you looked… troubled. I didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it or not since you’ve only just met me, but I thought it might be nice to have someone acknowledge it and talk to at least.” Viktor stated looking over at Yuuri with a soft glance.

Viktor suddenly registered what he had just said and done a double take, frantically waving his hands in front of him, “I-I, um… sorry. I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything. You really don’t have to speak about it if you don’t want to.” 

Yuuri laughed under his breath and decided to save the man from worry. “It’s fine Viktor, thank you. I didn’t know that I that my emotions were so obvious.” 

Viktor gazed at him, with relief but also awe. He proceeded to look at Yuuri more until he realised he was staring at him. “Sorry,” he said quickly turning away. 

Yuuri turned his head back down towards his coffee and took another sip. “I’m waiting for my sister to knock off work. That’s why I’m here.” He smiled still looking down at his drink.

“But you’re right, you know? I’ve had a pretty miserable day but I’m am starting to feel better.” He continued on.

Viktor nodded in reply and let out a deep sigh. “That’s pretty shit. Although, I am glad that you’re starting to feel better.”

“Was it because of work? Or something?” He gestured for Yuuri to continue speaking.

“No, not really. I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Yuuri spoke leaving out the part that the cause was depression and anxiety. It wasn’t something he liked to talk about, having mental illnesses made him feel weaker than others.

“Fair enough, I think everybody has that every so often. At least, I think.” Viktor said taking another sip from his drink. 

For another half an hour, Yuuri and Viktor continued to talk about all sorts of random things. Yuuri felt incredibly lucky that he had met Viktor at the moment in time. It helped him to forget about his depressive state and miserable thoughts. 

He soon became very fascinated by Viktor and his presence. He was very charismatic and his personality ended up being very contagious. Towards the end of their conversation, Viktor had Yuuri grinning from ear to ear and simply having a wonderful time. It happened to be the first time, in a long time, that Yuuri was that blissful. 

Before too long, Viktor was waving goodbye as he exited the small café. He asked to meet Yuuri again soon and left his number on a napkin, passing it over to Yuuri for him to keep. 

Yuuri slumped back onto the stool and stared down at the napkin. He reached for his phone and pulled open his contacts, entering the number under ‘Viktor’. He was happy but also somewhat upset that his new acquaintance left him back to his thoughts. 

Yuuri wasn’t too fazed by the fact that he was now back to his anxious state. Anxiety and depression were not things that just disappeared after a conversation. They were always there at the back of Yuuri’s mind and would just come and go when they pleased. 

No more than two minutes passed before Mari Katsuki stepped out from behind the cashier and made her way over to Yuuri with her belongings in her hands. “You ready to go?”

She made her way over to Yuuri and flung one of her arms around his shoulder while reaching her hand up to his head to ruffle his hair. She looked down at him with a knowing look as if to say she understood what was going through his mind. He, in return, glanced up at her with a soft smile, “as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Yuuri slipped down off of the bar stool and walked with Mari over to the shop door. Mari quickly turned back around and waved off her co-workers before they both exited the store out onto the street. The sun was not as bright as it had been when Yuuri arrived at the café, in fact, the sun was hidden behind the clouds and the soft pitter-patter of rain splashed upon the streets in its place. Yuuri was grateful that his sister kept tabs on the weather and had brought an umbrella with her to work. 

They walked along the narrow street shoulder to shoulder and talked about everything and nothing. Sometimes, even when Yuuri didn’t want to talk about how he was feeling, it always made the most sense to him to open up to his sister. When Yuuri first started to experience panic attacks he would always sneak into Mari’s room and seek help from her. She was his safe place from the very start and not a day would go by where he didn’t feel grateful to be her brother. Mari was always there for him and she would make that known to him with the smallest of gestures. 

They continued to walk for quite a while before they reached Yuuri’s apartment and decided to spilt ways for the evening. Yuuri made his way up the apartment building and buzzed himself in. It was a very quiet neighbourhood but everyone on the street acknowledged each other with friendly smiles and small waves. He appreciated the gestures that came his way every morning and night and returned them back without hesitation. 

Yuuri stepped off the elevator and waved to the old couple that chatted with him on the way up to his floor. He made his way over to his apartment door and kicked it closed behind him once he made his way inside. All he wanted to do was sleep for the rest of the night so he stripped himself of his clothes, had a quick shower, and flopped down onto his bed. He laid there, staring up at the ceiling and thinking of a certain silver haired man that made his day somewhat okay. Yuuri knew that he would like to meet Viktor again and wondered when the next opportunity would come his way.


	2. Chapter 2

Bright lights swamped his vision, and he was just able to see the councilor sitting high above the court. The building took the form of a full circle, and everywhere he looked blurred people were seated in chairs. 

“Viktor Nikiforov, tell me, do you know why we’ve asked you here today?”

“Your Honor,” Viktor leaned forward as he rested his hands against the velvet armrests of his chair. “You’ve yet to explain why, so how would I already know without the court telling me?”

The councilor stared at Viktor for a split second before shifting himself in his chair. “Nikiforov, you are to be a guardian of a selected human. The entire council believes you are the only one fit for the task.” The councilor looked around the room to see the nodding heads of approval from the council and then looked back down to Viktor. “This is a job for someone who will have the best outcome, it’s a human life we need to protect.”

Viktor sat there silently, too stunned to make a move or sound. He had never been allocated to a human before, he wasn’t even a guardian angel. A thousand thoughts ran around his head and all his voice could produce was a croaked “why?”

“You’re the God of Victory, that’s why.” The councilor spoke with austerity, “We all firmly agreed that it is only you who can save this boy.”

 

-x-

Rays of sunlight danced around Viktor’s apartment and engulfed him in complete warmth. He was lying down in his bed staring up at the ceiling. His alarm clock ticked away beside him on the bedside table and a soft static sound rang through his ears. The unfamiliar name of Yuuri Katsuki floated through his head and Viktor wondered when he would come across the young man in need of protection. 

He wondered if maybe the Yuuri’s case was too hard-hitting for any guardian angel to take on. Whatever reason stood Viktor didn’t mind as long as he knew at the end of the day that he saved this young man from whatever danger loomed over his shoulder. 

Viktor pushed his blanket way from his body and rolled himself out of bed. The soft padding of his feet made their way to the kitchen where suddenly the sound of them stopped when Viktor halted his body in a swift movement to open his fridge. Grabbing a carton of milk and mindlessly reaching for a cereal box in his cupboard, Viktor made himself breakfast and sat down at his island bench.

While eating his breakfast Viktor thought of ways on how he was going to meet this unknown Yuuri. All he knew about the man was that he worked as a primary school teacher and happened to live in the same town as him. He mentally pushed the running thoughts to the back of his mind and instead focused on getting himself ready for work. 

Running a quick shower, Viktor washed his hair and jumped out to dry himself. Within moments he was putting on his clothes, grabbing his belongings such as his keys, and made his way out the apartment door knowing full well that he didn’t need to be leaving at this time of morning.

Viktor worked as a full-time photographer at a distinguished magazine company downtown. He did enjoy his job – he really did - but he did hope that one day he could go back to being a freelance photographer and use his talent for things he had creative control over. Although he wished for it, the timing for him to make that change in his career just happened to be not the best. 

The fresh morning air filled Viktor’s lungs as soon as he treaded outside and in return, he exhaled it back out. The air was harsh against his skin but fortunately, the sun beamed down on him and gave him the tiniest bit of warmth that he needed for him to stay outside and not scurry back into his apartment. 

The walk to his workplace was a short one, but it was none the less short when Viktor’s mind happened to be filled with all sorts of thoughts. What actually took about ten minutes felt like thirty. But before he knew it, Viktor was stepping into the building of the company and making his way up to the photo shoot set. 

For the next few hours, Viktor worked non-stop. The clock ticked away and time just seemed to disappear but there was something stuck in the back of his mind that just wouldn’t budge. Viktor couldn’t help but ponder over an unknown face that belonged to one undiscovered Yuuri Katsuki.

 

-x-

 

The sun was shining brighter and the harsh air had diminished by the time Viktor stepped outside, having just finished his day’s work. He easily decided, within minutes that going for a cup of coffee instead of walking home straight away was clearly the better option. So, instead of talking the regular route home, Viktor turned down an open street and headed for the next café he could find. 

Taking a turn down a narrow looking road, Viktor stumbled upon a small café nestled just off to the right of the main street. Without a split second of thinking, he pushed open the glass door and entered the shop.

He quickly scanned the café and smiled when he saw that a number of customers were little to none. There were only a few couples and singular people scattered around the quaint shop. Viktor instantly relaxed and felt all of his stress slip away. The only noise that filled the café was the soft sound of chatter and the occasional buzz of the coffee machines. 

He strolled over to the wooden counter and patiently waited for a cashier to come over and take his order. From the corner of his eye, Viktor saw a man sitting to his left on a copper coloured stool. He had dark brown hair and wore blue rimmed glasses. The man had just pushed a full cup of coffee, that seemed to have gone cold, across to the other side of the counter. On top of that, the man looked miserable.

Viktor turned his head back towards the cashier when he had realised someone was standing there, ready to take his order. He ordered his cup of coffee and then looked back over to the man sitting alone. Without thinking, Viktor ordered another cup of coffee to give to the man.

The two steaming cups of coffee were placed in front of him as he finished up paying for the drinks. As he gripped his hands around the cups, warmth instantly spread through his fingers and he relished in the feeling. Striding over to the man, he stopped in his line of vision and held out a cup of coffee in front of the man’s face. 

“Here, I noticed that your previous drink went cold,” Viktor spoke while he nodded his head at the man’s now cold drink. 

The young man looked taken about by Viktor’s action. He managed to mumble a thank you but also told him that he hadn’t needed to. Viktor shook his head at the man and smile while he plonked himself onto the stool next to him. 

“I’m Viktor,” he said holding out his hand after placing his cup of coffee down in front of himself. Viktor never really conversed with people he didn’t know but he was definitely confident in meeting new people and this man looked like he needed someone to talk to. 

The man stared at Viktor for a few seconds before looking down at his hand and then back up to Viktor. Without further hesitation, the man reached out towards his hand and shook it. “Yuuri……Yuuri Katsuki.”

The shock that flashed across Viktor’s eyes was quickly covered up with a soft smile and a gulp of his coffee. Although, it had seemed that Yuuri didn’t notice Viktor’s shock and carried on with drinking his drink.

Viktor could not believe it. Emotions and thoughts ran through his mind, Viktor couldn’t believe he was sitting next to Yuuri. The man he had constantly been thinking since that morning had now been sitting right next to Viktor in a quaint little coffee shop. 

Soon realising that he might have been looking like he had shut down, Viktor tried to casually start a conversation without Yuuri knowing about Viktor’s shock at the new found knowledge. As they talked for a while, Viktor found himself staring at Yuuri and getting lost in thought. Each time he was caught, he would apologise profusely and turned his head away.

After an hour based by, Viktor checked the time on his watch and realised that he needed to be heading back to his apartment. Considering that Viktor needed to watch over Yuuri and had genuinely enjoyed talking with him, Viktor snatched up and napkin and a random pen from his pocket and jotted down his phone number for Yuuri to keep. 

He picked up his belongings and waved goodbye before he turned around and headed for the café door. Viktor looked back Yuuri one last time and hurriedly forced himself out the door before he would decide to stay and talk some more. 

Landing outside back into the narrow street, Viktor headed back to his apartment. The whole time he was walking home, the realisation that he just meet Yuuri Katsuki only just started to sink in.


	3. Chapter 3

The wind whipped past him as he rode his bike down through the centre of the town and the scent of salty mist from the ocean nearby lingered in the air. Yuri relished in the feeling of driving his motorbike down to his workplace in the early hours of the morning. It was quiet and peaceful, the sound of birds chirping and waves crashing lulled him into a deep sense of relaxation. God did he know he would need it before going to work.

Yuri was a student teacher at Hasetsu Primary School, he really enjoyed teaching children but it was a pain in his neck being that the class he taught was at the level of grade 2. He didn’t mind it though. 

The actual classroom teacher was Yuuri Katsuki. Yuri wouldn’t admit it to his face but he did admire him. Over the course of working at the school, he had become close with Yuuri. He had managed to see all sides of Yuuri and knew things about him that he had never opened up about before meeting Yuri. He could quite easily say that over the short period of time Yuri had known him, that Yuuri was one of his closest friends. 

He slowed to a stop, turned the engine of his motorbike off and stepped down onto the ground of the school’s parking lot. It was relatively empty but Yuri assumed that the rest of the staff would arrive shortly. He did notice, before entering the school, that a familiar car was parked in the right corner of the parking lot. Without needing to enter his classroom, Yuri already knew that Yuuri would be sitting behind his desk at the front of the room. 

“Oi, morning Katsuki,” Yuri chimed while he plonked his satchel down by Yuuri’s desk. The sudden arrival of sounds made Yuuri stop shifting through the pile of papers on his desk and turn around to look up at Yuri with a smile.

“Morning, Yurio.” Katsuki’s words were soft and clipped, they held no real substance and immediately he knew that Yuuri still wasn’t feeling any better than he did yesterday. There were bags underneath his eyes and the way his body slouched showed that he was most definitely feeling mentally and physically drained.

Although Yuri did not fully understand the factors of mental illnesses, he hated to see Yuuri so broken and vowed to help him in any way he possibly could. And through time, Yuri figured out that sometimes he just needed to stay quiet and be there for him. So he stayed quiet, even though Katsuki looked like he might break at any moment. 

Yuri crossed the space between them and engulfed his friend into a tight embrace. He could still see Yuuri’s expression and mentally smacked himself from not knowing how to protect his friend from this. A small squeeze on Yuri’s forearm signaled him that Yuuri was thankful and otherwise okay. He stepped out of the hug and looked him in the eyes before breathing out a small sigh and turning away. 

“How was yesterday? Did you go home and rest?” He asked while placing the student’s workbooks on their respected tables in preparation for the day. 

“I went down to visit Mari at the café,” Yuuri smiled and went to open his mouth to continue but snapped it shut as quickly as it opened. 

“What?” He questioned and urged Yuuri to elaborate further. He had just finished placing the books and went to grab stationary to put down next. 

“I… There was a guy I met while down there, he was really kind.” Yuuri started to speak, “We chatted for a while before he had to leave but he made sure to give me his number.”

Yuri paused what he was doing and looked over at Katsuki. He was looking up at him as well. “Were you okay?”

“Yeah, Yuri. I was fine.” 

Yuri missed the sound of his nickname passing through Yuuri’s lips. His formal name was only used in front of the students and when Yuuri was being serious. He had grown so used to the nickname that when it wasn’t used by Yuuri he felt a bit weird. 

He stood there silently and thought up his next question, “What did you guys talk about?”

Yuuri couldn’t help but let a soft chuckle leave his lips before answering him, “You don’t need to be so worried, Yurio. We just talked about work and other stuff. Although, he did ask me if I was okay. He said I looked upset.”

Before Yuri could say another word, the bell rang and the students started to pile in through the door.

-x-

 

The last bell of the day rang, signifying that school was over. Some of the students raced to the door while others stayed seated at their tables. A few of the student’s parents would arrive at the school late because of work, which meant that Yuri would play activities with the children until a parent arrived to grab them. 

Yuri unpacked some colouring sheets and pencils and gave them to the remaining students, leaving them to their own devices, he made his way over to Yuuri and sat down on an empty chair. 

Yuuri was putting away the last of his papers into his work bag when he looked back over his shoulder and smiled. He sat back up and turned to face Yuri before he could say anything Yuuri had already guessed what he had planned to ask him.

“I’m okay, Yurio. Really.” Yuuri gave him a little nudge on the shoulder and watched him release a short sigh.

As much as Yuri didn’t want to believe him and to demand the truth, he already knew that the truth had been given to him. Staring into Yuuri’s eyes, he finally cracked and a dropped the pestering. 

Wanting to continue the conversation Yuuri and he were having that morning, Yuri started to ask who the man was but was quickly interrupted by the sound of knocking on the classroom door. 

Yuri watched as Katsuki’s eyes widened at the sight of the person standing at the door. He had instantly sprung out of his seat and walked over to the unfamiliar man. Yuri stayed planted in his seat and watched the two men greet each other. He realised that he didn’t know who that guy was and wondered if it was an old friend of Yuuri’s. He knew that it wasn’t a family member because he had met them all before, so it didn’t take too long before Yuri found himself walking over there to find out who the person was. 

Once he had made it over there, he stood next to Yuuri and shot him a questioning look. 

Yuuri was quite visibly flustered and turned his head to look at Yuri. He opened his mouth and scrambled to find the words to explain who the person was. 

“Um… Yurio, this is Viktor.” He clarified while gesturing to the man, “I mentioned him this morning.”

 

-x-

The sun had disappeared for the night and Yuri had curled himself into a tight bundle of blankets. It was really quiet in his apartment and all he could do was think. His mind was a constant flow of thoughts that tended to frustrate him to no end. He was never usually riddled with concern for his friend but whenever Yuuri relapsed into his depression, Yuri just couldn’t help but be worried twenty four seven.

His eyes darted across the couch in search for his phone, upon finding it, he picked it up and punched in the numbers to dial Yuuri’s phone.

He silently tapped his fingers against his thigh as he waited for the phone to ring. He didn’t have to wait long as Yuuri picked up by the third ring. It wasn’t pleasant though as all Yuri could hear from the other line was Yuuri attempting to cover up his coughing. He did not sound great at all. 

“Yuuri, are you okay?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pathetically short chapter, sorry!

“Yuuri, are you okay?” 

His head was spinning, white knuckles gripped onto the kitchen counter and his eyes were clenched closed. Although, Yuuri wanted to be honest with his friend he couldn’t, so he instead let out a quiet mumble, “Yeah, I’m good. Just a bit of a cough.”

After Yuuri managed to convince Yurio that he was okay, the conversation moved on to a different topic. Yurio wanted to know more about Viktor and he was happy to talk about it, even though he didn’t know a whole lot. 

The fireplace was crackling away in the background and Yuuri had managed to make himself a steaming cup of tea while on the phone. He made his way over to his couch and nestled himself in between his many cushions. A satisfied sigh left his lips as he felt the warmth engulf his body.

Talking with Yuri always helped him relax and calm his thoughts. He could talk with him for hours and not notice the time passing. It had been a long time since Yuuri felt so at ease with another person and that fact made Yuuri grateful that Yurio had wondered into his life. 

Before it got too late, they both decided to hang up and get some sleep. Moving from the couch and back over to the kitchen, Yuuri quickly cleaned his dishes and retired to his bedroom. Slipping on some pyjamas, he wrapped himself up in his blankets and turned out the ceiling light. 

His headache was still pounding and the tickle in his throat stayed. He didn’t think he would get a good sleep that night.


	5. Chapter 5

The sound of soft music bounced around Yuuri’s apartment. He stood behind his kitchen counter fiddling around with a rose, he was holding it up against the vase wondering if would work with the other flowers. The glass vase contained a mixture of small yellow roses and delicate white flowers. They were given to him as a gift from Yurio a while back.

He sighed. Cold sunlight danced around the room, it was the early hours of Saturday morning and Yuuri could already tell that the rest of the day was going to be long. What he didn’t expect, was a phone call from an unknown caller. 

Hesitant to pick it up, Yuuri let the phone ring out awhile until he gathered enough courage to finally answer the caller. “Hello?” He tried to collect his thoughts while waiting for the other person to reply. It was an understatement to say that Yuuri was shocked when he heard a familiar voice speak from the other end. 

“Good morning, Yuuri!” The Russian man’s voice beamed through the other end of the phone call, sending an oddly pleasant shiver down his spine. “Do you have any plans for today?”

Pink patches of blush covered Yuuri’s cheeks, he was not expecting Viktor to ask him if he had any plans. “I…Um, no. I don’t have any plans, Viktor.” He tried to sound as neutral as possible but stumbled over his words a little. Yuuri hoped that Viktor didn’t notice. 

“Great! Would you like to spend some time with me down in the city?” The sudden question burned itself into Yuuri’s mind. He started to blush even harder the more he thought about it. It was a simple question but it managed to make Yuuri into a non-functioning mess. 

“Yes, I would love to.” He blurted out before he could stop himself. That was it. Yuuri locked himself into a date that he had no time to properly prepare for. He lightly banged his forehead with his fist before regaining some form of sanity. He needed to calm his nerves before he let it get out of hand. It was just a simple hang out. Nothing could go wrong. 

Yuuri vaguely remembered Viktor telling him a time and place to meet, but all of his thoughts went out the door as soon as the phone call ended. He had an hour to get ready which was fine but it was definitely not long enough to be able to fully calm his nerves. 

He rushed around his apartment, flung t-shirts and jeans laid scattered on his bedroom floor, his hair was sticking up in all different directions, and he couldn’t find his favourite coat. After 20 minutes of searching, Yuuri gave up and opted for the next best thing. An oversized sweater that engulfed his body and kept him warm. 

Double checking that he grabbed everything he needed, Yuuri stepped out of his apartment building and out into the frosty air. 

 

-x-  
Cold wind nipped at his ears as it rushed by in quick gushes. The trees were swaying in time with each other and rogue newspaper clippings swirled around in the air. Yuuri was walking down the street trying to find the coffee shop Viktor told him to meet at. The sound of cars rushing past and the loud chatter of people making conversation on the sidewalk distracted him from concentrating on the task at hand. 

Although, without him noticing, a mitten covered hand darted out and softly gripped his forearm. Shocked, Yuuri quickly turned around to see who the person was. Raising his arm and placing his hand on his chest, he blew out a sigh of relief when he realised it was Viktor emerging out from a small crowd of people. 

“You had me scared for a minute,” he mumbled still clutching his chest. Viktor chuckled and flashed him an apologetic look. He was holding two medium sized coffee cups in one hand. “Sorry, I was just exiting the café when I saw you walking past.” 

He handed over one of the cups and smiled. Yuuri gladly took the warm cup into his cold hands and ushered out a thank you. Viktor waved him off with a flick of his wrist and pushed Yuuri, with a hand on his back, in the direction he wanted to go. 

They were walking down the street, conversing like old friends, and stopping at shops that caught their eyes. Yuuri felt comfortable and at ease, he was relaxed and it surprised him considering he only met Viktor a couple of days ago. He expected to be nervous the whole time but as soon as he saw Viktor standing there all of his worrying flew out the window in a matter of seconds. 

Being around Viktor felt natural. Just like it was with Mari and Yuri. But at the same time, it was different. Yuuri couldn’t put his finger on it, there was just something that made the dynamic feel different but whatever it happened to be, it didn’t feel bad. 

-x-

 

Yuuri was trying to stifle a cough, but the tickling in his throat would not allow him to. He didn’t want to cough too loudly in case everyone would turn around and stare at him. The thought of people judging him for being disturbing was enough to send him spiralling deep into his anxiety. It greeted him like an old friend, patiently waiting for him to return again. 

He scanned his surroundings before making the split decision to move away from Viktor, who was currently window shopping and walked a few feet in the opposite direction. Yuuri’s vision had started to blur and the nagging coughs stuck in his throat couldn’t be contained for much longer. He lifted his elbow up to his face and let out a string of coughs. Yuuri silently prayed that on one was watching and that Viktor hadn’t noticed his disappearance. 

He felt stupid for walking away and allowing himself to be caught up in his anxiety. But he could not change it. The littlest things could make Yuuri feel like everything was caving in on him. 

The tickling in his throat had vanished but his anxiety engulfed him into a cold embrace. It was latched onto him and it felt like a ton of bricks weighing down on his shoulders. He didn’t understand. Why here and why now? 

Taking a deep breath, he walked back over to Viktor. Yuuri couldn’t help but let a small blush creep up onto his cheeks as he watched Viktor sway in his spot while looking at flowers that hung in the window display. 

“Yuuri, come inside the store with me.” Viktor had turned around and was now looking him with a smile on his face. He marched over to Yuuri and grabbed a hold of his right hand. Without any hesitation, Viktor pulled them both inside the shop. 

A range of flowers and plants littered the whole store, not a single space was left uncovered. The vibrant colours consumed the shop and the fresh scents from the flowers hovered in the air. The minutes on the clock ticked by quickly and before he knew it, Viktor had bought some flowers and was taking the both of them to a quaint bakery down the street.

The bakery was bursting with people eating food and chatting away. Finding a two person table near the back of the shop, the both of them sat and order something to eat. While Viktor hummed away, racking his eyes up and down the menu, Yuuri was internally struggling with his anxiety that was eating away at him. His legs were jittering up and down beneath the table and his hands were fidgeting with the cuffs on his sweater. There were too many people. It made him feel claustrophobic. His chest had tightened and his breaths were coming out short. 

Viktor had stopped looking at the menu and was about to question Yuuri on what he wanted but stopped when he saw what was happening. Yuuri was leaning back in his chair with his head facing up at the ceiling. His chest was rising and falling at a fast pace.

“Yuuri, what’s wrong?” Viktor had asked, placing his hand softly on his shoulder. He hadn’t expected the gesture and jolted with surprise when it happened. Leaning back up in his seat, Yuuri looked directly at Viktor. He was staring back at Yuuri with concern written all over his face. He didn’t know what to say. 

“Oh…. Um, it’s…. I’m just a bit nervous.” He replied nodding his head and shifting his gaze away from Viktor’s eyes. 

“Nervous about what? You can tell me, Yuuri.” Viktor leaned over the table and clasped his hands around Yuuri’s. The warmth from Viktor’s newly ungloved hands spread over into Yuuri’s cold ones. The gesture had once again brought a slight blush to his face. Looking back up at Viktor, he let out a strained sigh. 

“I have anxiety,” he blurted, already regretting that he said anything. But there was not take backs, he had to continue explaining to Viktor in order for him to understand what was going on up inside Yuuri’s head. “There’s just a lot of people in here and it’s making me feel claustrophobic and anxious. I’m sorry.” He didn’t know why he apologised but he just felt the need to. 

Viktor’s face softened. He scanned the room and then turned back to face Yuuri. “You don’t have to apologise, Yuuri. You should have told me sooner. Here, let’s go and we’ll find another place to dine at.” Viktor smiled and extended his hand to Yuuri for him to grab a hold of. 

Yuuri was about to say that they didn’t have to, even though he did want to. But Viktor had already started to walk them out of the bakery and further down the street. Every place that caught their eye contained a pack of people. Yuuri tried suggesting that they should just go in one, but Viktor refused to, explaining that he’d find somewhere quiet for them to eat at. 

Then it occurred to Yuuri, “Viktor, why don’t we just go back to my apartment? I can easily make us some lunch there. And besides, no one else would be there.” Viktor looked surprised at the offer but then hid his reaction with a soft smile. Asking Yuuri to lead the way, they turned around a headed back up the street. 

-x-

Steam escaped the boiling pot of food that Yuuri was cooking. The heat was fogging up his glasses, so he removed them and set them to the side. Viktor was waiting behind Yuuri, he was sitting on a stool patiently at the kitchen counter watching Yuuri as he made them lunch. 

Grabbing some clean bowls from a cupboard above his head, Yuuri had started to place generous amounts of food into each of his and Viktor’s bowls. Quickly cleaning up some utensils, he picked up both bowls and placed them down in front of Viktor. Manoeuvring around the bench, Yuuri sat down next to him and started to eat. 

After eating, Viktor offered to help Yuuri clean up while taking both bowls up to the kitchen sink. He thanked Viktor and told him to just stack the bowls into the dishwasher with the other dishes. While Viktor put the dishes in, Yuuri walked over to his fridge and poured them both a drink. Handing one over to Viktor, Yuuri showed him into the lounge and sat down on the couch, throwing a spare blanket over top the both of them. 

They chatted for a while until Viktor went silent. He looked as though he wanted to ask something but wasn’t sure if he could or was even allowed to. “What is it?” Yuuri asked, placing his drink down on the coffee table.

Viktor looked up at him and placed his drink down as well. “I just…. Something had been bugging me.” Yuuri gestured for him to continue speaking but it took a few seconds until Viktor had finally gathered his thoughts and let out a breath. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I….. Could you tell me more about your anxiety?”


	6. Chapter 6

A throat-cutting cough escaped Yuuri’s lips. His mum sighed, pressing the cold washcloth harder against his forehead. The coolness of the cloth soothed the fever radiating from his body but did nothing to the headache ringing in his ears. His blankets were yanked down towards the end of his bed and his winter pyjamas were swapped out for a pair of loose shorts and a t-shirt. Letting out another cough, a glass of water was passed over to him and he happily grabbed the colourful cup in his small hands. Gulping down the entire glass, the cup was placed back down on his bedside table. He leaned back down onto his bed and turned his head so that he could gaze at his mum. 

For the most part, his mum looked as impeccable as ever, but worry lines had been engraved onto her face and an upset frown replaced her usual beaming smile. She promised him, engulfing him in a comforting hug, that she would stay by his side all day until he got better. Yuuri fell sick quite a lot, more than usual, and no one never really found out the cause of it. But every time sickness came over him, his mum would be just as concerned, maybe even more, than the last time. She would leave her duties for the day and watch over him, nursing him back to health every time. But today didn’t seem like one of those times. 

Coughs spluttered from his mouth causing a low rumble to stir in the middle of his chest. It had hurt. His eyes were lidded, blinking them slowly and closing them for long amounts of time. His room seemed to darken as the minutes passed and what was already his blurry vision started to blur even more. Yuuri’s mum must have noticed because before he could close his eyes for the last time, she picked him up in her arms and dashed downstairs. 

She laid him down on the couch and called out to his father. Appearing from out of the kitchen, he rounded the corner and walked over. Noticing his son passed out and lying on the couch, concern descended on his face. They both stared at each other, understanding one another’s thoughts. Yuuri’s dad moved back into the kitchen, dialling his older sister’s school. He notified the school that Mari would need to be picked up shortly. Hanging up the phone, he marched back out into the living room and hugged his worrying wife. Yuuri’s mum sniffled into the hug but then broke away, kneeling down beside Yuuri lying on the couch. She reached her hand out, patting his hair back out the way of his forehead. Yuuri’s chest rattled with heavy breathing, and beads of sweat littered his head. He was tossing and turning in his unconscious state and all his parents could do was sit and wait. 

Manoeuvring him, his dad gripped him gently and took him out to the car. They were going to pick up Mari and then drive down to the hospital. It wasn’t uncommon for Yuuri to visit the hospital as a patient, although he hadn’t been in a while. It made his parents nervous as to what could be wrong. They had seen these symptoms before but never had they played up this bad. Blinking his eyes very slowly to adjust to his new surroundings, Yuuri groaned in pain. His headache pounded and his throat felt like sandpaper. Every move he made, his body would contort in agony. 

Alerting his parents that he was awake, his dad tried to drive them faster towards their daughter’s school. Pulling up outside the building, Yuuri’s dad stepped out and strode up to the school’s office to pick up Mari. He returned shortly after with Mari running in front of him to get inside the car quickly. Distress was written all over her face, Mari instantly pulled Yuuri into a bone-crushing hug. It had seemed like his dad had already communicated with Mari about what was happening. 

“Yuuri, how are you feeling?” Mari asked looking down at Yuuri as she slowly pulled away from him so that he wouldn’t heat up any more than he already had. Yuuri tried flashing his older sister a smile, “I…I’m O…kay.” His throat stung as he croaked out his reply. Mari tried to hide her deep concern but couldn’t, engulfing him into another hug. Yuuri relaxed into it, snuggling up into her arms even if he would start to heat up in moments. 

The drive to the hospital was quick, but Yuuri found that he couldn’t remember a lot of it since he passed out in the backseat a few minutes after they left Mari’s school. Opening his eyes up to see that he was inside a hospital bedroom, Yuuri started to feel nervous. He breathing started to speed up and he chest started to tense. Yuuri hated hospitals and whenever he was in one he would start to get this unpleasant tingling feeling inside his chest. He looked around the room only finding Mari curled up in a seat right next to his hospital bed. “M….Ma..ri,” her head shot up instantly at his voice and she turned to face her younger brother. She was about to ask him what he needed when she saw his chest starting to rise and fall at an incredibly fast pace. Her mind shifted its’ gears and started to selectively focus on just him.

Yuuri was scared and he felt as though he was lying underneath the ocean water. He found it hard to breathe. He looked at Mari, fear flashing in his eyes. He had felt like this once before and Mari was also there at the time. He wondered if she remembers what happened and how to stop it. The hospital room felt as though it was closing up on him, he didn’t like the feeling and so he let tears stream down his cheeks. 

Mari watched as her little brother had another panic attack. She didn’t know what to do, although she gripped both of his hands as tightly as she could to remind him that she was there. Last time it happened, she tried to distract him by playing a game with him but she couldn’t do that now as he was supposed to stay in the hospital bed and rest. She was at a complete and utter loss.

“Yuuri, you having a panic attack okay?” She nodded, hurrying to get her words out. “I need you to breath, just take in deep breaths okay?” Mari watched as he tried to take in as much air as he could but his breathing was still a little fast. She decided to breathe with him for encouragement. Gulping in a load of air, she let the air fill her lungs and then breathed out slowly. Yuuri tried to mimic her actions, following suit by letting out his breath. 

A few moments had passed. They were both staring at each other, unspoken words between them. Yuuri’s heart rate had settled down and his breathing was back to normal. Although, he was still scared. 

“Mari, can you promise me something?”

“Anything, Yuuri.”

He looked straight into her eyes, “Please don’t tell mum and dad. Please.” 

 

-x-

 

Yuuri stayed in the hospital for an entire week before he was allowed to leave. The doctors had explained to his parents that they still couldn’t tell what exactly was wrong. All they could do was provide a range of different medication to give to him. It was essentially a fifty, fifty chance on whether any of the medication would work or not. The sheer lack of information made his parents both mad and worried at the same time. At that point, they didn’t know what else they could do for Yuuri. 

Exiting the hospital, everyone jumped into the car to head home. The whole way there, Yuuri fell asleep. His body was drained and he didn’t have an ounce of energy left inside of him. All the tests and treatments done on him throughout the week took a toll on his small body. He didn’t wake up until it was later that afternoon. 

Yuuri felt better in the sense that he wasn’t at the hospital anymore. The whole week had him on edge. That feeling of being trapped underwater had been nagging him from the back of his mind. The thought of that disturbing feeling coming back scared him. But no matter what, he did not want to tell his parents. He knew they would be more concerned if they found out. Luckily, Mari kept her promise and didn’t say a word and she was going to keep it that way for as long as she could. Until Yuuri felt it was okay to tell them. 

-x-

A few weeks had passed since Yuuri had told Viktor that story. He was glad that he told him, it allowed him to get it off his chest without even realising that that was what he needed in the first place. Somehow, talking about it to someone other than his family was relaxing. It instantly calmed the anxiety he was lagging around with him that day. That feeling of water filling his lungs and pushing him down had stopped. 

He didn’t know how or why, but it just did. Maybe it was the fact that Viktor engulfed him into a hug right after, or the comforting words he whispered into his ear, or maybe it was the soft press of lips against his cheek and the simple promise that followed after. 

“I promise to protect you.”


	7. Chapter 7

They were both laughing hysterically. The entire atmosphere around them felt warm and joyous. Yuuri invited Yurio over to his apartment after work had finished. He felt like he hadn’t been around Yuri in a while and he wasn’t ashamed to say that he missed his best friend. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen him at all, but the past few weeks Yuuri had been hanging out with Viktor. It was important to him that he and Yurio spent time together alone.  
There was music on in the background playing softly from Yuuri’s old record player. The overhead lights were on and the fire was crackling away in front of them. They sipped warm cups of tea and danced away to the music. Talking about anything and everything. Yuuri asked Yurio about college and his boyfriend Otabek. Keeping up on the important in his friend’s life was very important to him. Yurio would beam anytime he spoke about Otabek, he was like a radiant sunshine. Yuuri loved that Yurio had someone special in his life like that and he couldn’t help but be a little bit envious as well.   
He wondered if Viktor would become that person to him. If he would be the one to elicit a beaming smile from Yuuri when being spoken about. Yuuri didn’t know if he would be, but a part of him did want Viktor to be. Even thinking about him caused a little flutter in Yuuri’s chest, he wondered if Viktor felt the same. Whether his heart would flutter anytime he thought about Yuuri. Whether he wanted to be more than just friends.  
Yuuri was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t realise what was happening when soft hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down onto the couch. He quickly looked up, Yurio was waving his hand in front of Yuuri’s face and calling out his name. They were both sitting back down on the couch and it confused him for a split second. “Yuuri? Yuuri, are you okay?” Yurio was looking straight into his eyes which a slight smile on his face, his hands were back on Yuuri’s shoulders. “You zoned out.”  
Yuuri frowned a bit, “Sorry, I was just thinking.” He didn’t mean to completely zone out but his thoughts just kept flooding his brain like an open floodgate. He gazed at Yuri wondering what he was thinking.   
“What were you thing about?”  
Yuuri didn’t know how to form the words and tell him. It was hard especially when he struggled to admit it to himself.   
“Viktor…” he mumbled wanting to leave it at that but at the same time, he wanted to tell Yuri everything. If anyone was capable of understanding, it’d be him.   
Yuri sighed, contently. It was as if he expected that answer and knew what Yuuri was trying to say. Which he did.   
“You like him, don’t you?” Yuuri couldn’t figure out how one person could understand him so easily as if it was second nature to them. Every time Yuuri didn’t know how to say something or didn’t want to speak, Yuri always knew what he was thinking. Always.  
Yuri squeezed his hand, a simple gesture to encourage Yuuri to answer.   
“Yeah,” a soft cough passed through his lips. Yuuri didn’t need to say anymore because he knew that Yurio would already understand.   
Yuri smiled, pulling him into a hug. It wasn’t often that Yuri would hug someone, but when he did it felt like the nicest thing in the world. “You shouldn’t be nervous to admit it. Besides, I’m pretty sure that the feelings are mutual.”   
Heat rose to Yuuri’s cheeks instantly. The thought of Viktor liking him back made him feel like a high school student all over again.   
He went to open his mouth and shut down Yurio’s assumption but all that came out was a throat-tingling cough.   
Yurio pulled away from the hug and cast a long glance at Yuuri before raising his hand up to his forehead and checking it. “Yuuri, are you sick?”  
He was going to reply but another hearty cough bet him to it. And then, all of a sudden, the room started to darken. His head lulled forward into Yurio’s chest and the coughs left his lips one by one.  
He could vaguely hear Yurio calling out his name in a panicked tone but he wasn’t so sure. He couldn’t really tell. There was a loud buzzing in his ears that blocked out the majority of the other sounds around him and before he knew it, everything went black. 

-x-

Yuri was in a state of panic. He didn’t have a clue as of what to do. Desperately looking from one place to another, he fumbled around trying to find his keys. Yurio had gathered that he would be best off rushing his best friend to the hospital but it was all too much for such a small amount of time. He couldn’t find his keys anywhere and that caused him to panic even more.   
Searching around Yuuri’s apartment he managed to stumble upon his friend’s keys perched on the kitchen bench. Without hesitation, he snatched the keys up and hoped that Yuuri wouldn’t mind him driving his car. Hurriedly returning back to where his friend laid, he hefted him up into his small arms and managed to carry him all the way down to the carpark.  
Yuri knew that he would have to call Mari but he decided that the call could wait until he got Yuuri to the hospital safe and sound. Slightly speeding through the night traffic, Yuri drove the car to the nearest hospital he could find. As the nerves started to hit him even more, he started to nibble on his fingernails. He knew it was a bad habit but he couldn’t help it.   
Quickly pulling into a car space, Yuri unbuckled both his and Yuuri’s seatbelts in a rush. His best friend was still unconscious in the passenger seat and he didn’t know why. Yuri wanted to know what was wrong as soon as he possibly could.   
Lifting Yuuri back up into his arms, Yurio made a dash for the front doors of the hospital. Once he was inside he scrambled towards the front desk and demanded medical attention for Yuuri right away. The lady behind the desk hastily grabbed a phone next to her and made a call. There were a few seconds of her speaking and nodding her head but then she placed the phone down and dashed her way around to the front of the desk.   
Without making conversation, she patted Yuri’s shoulder and motioned him to follow her. They spent a few minutes walking down some corridors that Yurio was very likely to forget. Until finally, the lady pushed open a door and walked in. It was a tiny room but nice none the less, there was a hospital bed situated in the middle of the room with two bedside counters and two chairs.   
He assumed it was alright to walk over and place Yuuri down onto the bed and once he did so, he looked back at the lady for confirmation. She softly smiled and walked over to Yuri.   
“The doctor will be here shortly. He will ask you some questions first and then while he checks everything you will have to wait outside.”   
He nodded in response and thanked the lady as she turned to leave the room. Once she had left, he sat down in one of the chairs and scooted closer towards the bed. Yuri reached out and placed his hand above Yuuri’s. He was laying there with his eyes closed and then the only thing that reassured Yuri that he was still alive was the soft rise and fall of his chest.   
The doctor soon arrived with a nurse trailing in behind him. He introduced himself and the nurse and the proceeded to ask Yuri what had happened. After a few minutes of explaining, Yuri was asked to wait out in the hallway while the doctor did his job.  
Yuri leaned up against the wall while he was tapping his foot rapidly against the ground. He was holding his phone up to his ear waiting for Mari to answer. He watched the clock on the wall across from him as the seconds ticked by. Finally, he was greeted by Mari’s voice on the other side of the phone.   
He explained to her what happened and asked for her to get here quick. Yuri knew that he didn’t need to ask that, he could already hear the panic in her voice and the faint jingle of her car keys. He stayed on the phone with her until he could her start her car engine up. Yuri told her that he would meet her in the reception/waiting area before he hung up.   
Slowly retracing the hallways he took upon arriving, he tried to remember each and every turn so that he and Mari wouldn’t get lost when they were coming back. He eventually made it back out into the front area of the hospital and sat down on one of the chairs pushed against the wall.   
He thought about the entire night, everything was going so well at first. He just couldn’t understand why it ended like this. If he had only known about Yuuri’s sickness earlier he could’ve done something. Yuri sat there silently wishing that he could’ve done something to help him. That’s when he remembered the conversation he was having with Yuuri about Viktor. He didn’t know if he should call him and tell him what happened or not.   
After a few moments ticked by, he pulled out his phone again and dialled Viktor’s number. He had his phone number for a while now, Viktor gave it to him explaining that they should get to know each other more because they were both close to Yuuri.   
He waited until Viktor’s voice rang through the phone. Yuri stopped him before he could say anything. “Yuuri’s in the hospital. I don’t know why but he fell unconscious while I was with him, so I drove him here as fast as I could.”  
Yuri could hear Viktor take in a deep breath on the other side of the phone. “He’s not awake yet, but I know that you are one of the people he’d want to see when he does.”  
He looked around the reception area, keeping an eye out for Mari. Yuri saw her walking through the front doors looking extremely panicked and he caught her attention by motioning her over to where he was sitting.   
“Viktor, if you care for him, even just a little bit, please get here quick.”  
He hung up the phone and reached for Mari, engulfing her into a tight hug. They stood there for a little while before they both took in deep breaths and made their way down to Yuuri.


	8. Chapter 8

Viktor’s POV

The information he just heard what not something he ever expected he would hear. It was as if someone was pulling some cruel trick on him and a part of him wished it was so.

Viktor dropped his phone, letting in fall down onto the couch. He took quick strides around his apartment, trying to gather everything he would need. He didn’t know how long he would be there or if he needed to bring anything at all. His mind was moving too fast as if someone was playing his thoughts in fast-forward. 

He wasn’t sure how he could help but if what Yuri said was correct then he knew that Yuuri would want him by his side when he wakes up. But how long would that take, what if he was unconscious for days or weeks? Viktor didn’t even know what was wrong with Yuuri, if he didn’t know then he couldn’t help. Sure, he could heal him to some extent but he didn’t know what good that would do. 

Viktor felt as though he wasn’t doing his job right, that he screwed up somewhere along the lines and now he couldn’t fix it. He didn’t even know how he was supposed to protect Yuuri. The council never mentioned what Viktor had to specifically look out for. 

A part of him knew he shouldn’t have been panicking as much as he was, it was just a job right? He was just supposed to be his guardian angel and set Yuuri on the right path or some shit. But, Viktor couldn’t help it. He felt pain and sorrow, he was genuinely concern for Yuuri. Over the amount of time, Viktor knew him, Yuuri became more than just a friend to him. He didn’t know how to explain it or how to even tell him and know that he knew that Yuuri was somewhere unconscious, battling something Viktor couldn’t fix, his heart broke. 

His phone was the last item that he pocketed before he exited his apartment and drove to the address of the hospital that Yuri had messaged him. The seemed to take forever but at the same time, it was the quickest drive Viktor had ever had.

Viktor was trembling as he took long strides into the hospital and up to the receptionist desk. They were happy to tell him Yuuri’s room number and quickly wrote down the directions for him so he wouldn’t get lost.

He stood outside the door, he knew that on the other side he would be met with an unconscious Yuuri laying down on the hospital bed. Viktor wasn’t sure if he was ready to face the sight and contemplated whether he should wait or just go in. Panic rushed through his blood and his heart pounded, he placed his hand softly on the door handle and pushed down. 

Yuri’s POV

Yuri draped himself across his best friend’s torso, his arms had wrapped around his stomach not wanting to let go. His face was pressed down onto the side of Yuuri’s hipbone. Mari was laying across him as well but she about near his face. Yuri watched the rise and fall of Yuuri’s chest as Mari’s hands laid upon it. They both wanted to be as close as they could to Yuuri, he believed that they were both scared that if they let go that Yuuri wouldn’t be there anymore. 

There were needles stuck into Yuuri’s arms that were tapped down so that the needles wouldn’t slip out. Yuri cringed at the sight, the needles were connected to long clear tubes that hooked up to a range of different machines. Soft beeps from the machines bounced off the walls. 

The whole room felt like death, it was quiet and eerie. Yuri vowed that he would never have to be at the hospital ever again. He vowed to protect Yuuri better and make sure that he never ends up like this ever again.

All he wanted was for Yuuri to be safe and healthy, he wanted the doctor to say that everything was fine and that they could take Yuuri home. He knew that wasn’t the case though. 

The doctor didn’t say much as he left the room, he told them both what he had done but didn’t elaborate any further. He left them with no idea of what was going on. They had no clue as to what was making Yuuri sick or even if he was sick. Yuri wished he had the answers but he didn’t, and he didn’t think he’d get them anytime soon. 

*** 

He was pulling at some loose thread on the hospital blanket when a slight shuffle came from underneath him. At first, he thought it was Mari but then he remembered that she was sitting over in the corner chair fast asleep. He jolted up and started in disbelief, Yuuri was blinking his eyes open very slowly and small groans left his mouth as he tried to move into a sitting position. 

Relief flooded through Yuri’s body, he scrambled to help Yuuri move and watched as Yuuri looked up and stared into his eyes. Tears spilled and pulled Yuuri into a hug as gently as he could. He couldn’t describe how it felt knowing that Yuuri was conscious again. It eased his mind a little bit and then he remembered that Mari didn’t know. 

He slipped out of the hug and went to walk over to Mari but as he stood, the door to the room open ever so slightly and in walked Viktor, with raw red eyes and trembling hands. 

Yuuri’s POV

Viktor.

He was at a loss for words. Yuuri did not expect for Viktor to show up. He didn’t even think that Yurio would actually inform him of what happened. He felt like the all the oxygen had been knocked out of his chest.

Yuuri watched as Yurio made his way over to Viktor, who was still standing in the front of the now closed door. They spoke in harsh whispers before Yuri stood back and turned to wake up the sleeping figure in the corner of the room. He assumed that Viktor took that as his queue because he started walking over to the hospital bed as soon as Yuri had moved aside.

He blinked as Viktor came to a stop beside him. Yuuri didn’t realise how much he needed Viktor there until he actually was. The panic that was hovering in his chest lightened a little in Viktor’s presence.  
There wasn’t a whole lot for them to say, Viktor asked simple questions while rubbing the back of his hand and Yuuri just spoke when he could. His throat was too sore for him to be able to say anything more than a few broken words. 

After a while, they just sat in silence. All four of them. 

As the minutes ticked by, Yuuri’s anxiety heightened. He could feel a panic attack coming but he didn’t let it show. So he endured the waves of panic washing over his body in silence without a single person knowing. 

He hated hospitals.

Viktor’s POV

He had been in the hospital room for over two hours and he still couldn’t figure out what was wrong. The doctor and nurses came in and out every now and then just to check up, but they never really said anything about Yuuri’s condition. 

Viktor had taken it upon himself to cast a semi-healing spell over Yuuri but it didn’t do a whole lot. He could sense that Yuuri was panicking but did not point it out. If Yuuri wanted them to know, he would've told them. Viktor understood that Yuuri would say something in his own time if he wanted to. But until that moment, Viktor promised that he wouldn’t say a thing. 

His only wish at that moment was to get rid of the entire situation. He could sense how draining it was for them and how much it was taking a toll on Mari and Yuri. He needed answers but even then, he didn’t know if having the answers would help. 

His heart broke watching Yuuri laying in the hospital bed silently suffering. It was just the two of them in the room since Mari and Yuri had left to grab some food a while back. He sat them gazing at Yuuri from the side of his bed. He was more and more captivated by him which each passing minute. In all of his years, he had never felt anything quite like this before. Meeting Yuuri turned his world upside down. 

Viktor felt love for the first time in his life. 

He loved Yuuri and he wondered if Yuuri loved him back too. Viktor thought about the possibilities of what would happen after Yuuri was released from the hospital. He wondered if maybe they could be together, it didn’t matter in what way as long as Yuuri was beside Viktor that would be enough. 

He accidentally hit the hospital bed with his knee while he was shifting in his seat, this caused Yuuri to look over and stare in confusion. Viktor apologised and smiled, “Hey, how are you feeling?” 

Yuuri hummed while pondering over his answer. “Not so great, I guess but that’s okay.” Viktor nodded at his response. He wanted nothing more than to reach over and engulf him into a hug but he wasn’t sure. 

He hesitantly brought his hand up to Yuuri’s face and brushed the hair out of his face. His hand was softly shaking the entire time but Yuuri didn’t point it out. Viktor watched as a blush crept up onto Yuuri’s cheeks at the small gesture and he wondered if he was blushing too.   
“V…Viktor,” Yuuri stumbled over his name as he started to lean down further. Viktor moved his hand down to rest on his cheek and brought their foreheads together. He stared into Yuuri’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity before he slowly closed his eyes and softly kissed Yuuri’s lips. 

He felt as though time had stopped and he never wanted it to end. Yuuri’s lips were soft and Viktor never wanted to pull away. He could kiss Yuuri for the rest of his life and die happy knowing he did. Eventually, he pushed his face away from Yuuri and leaned back into his seat. They were both in a trance feeling dazed. 

Viktor hovered his hands above his lips savouring what had just happened. Although, the action was cut short by Yuri and Mari entering the room with bags of food in their arms.

Yuri’s POV

They all ate while chatting away happily. It seemed like for that small amount of time everyone had pushed their current situation to the back of their minds. 

Yuri was sitting next to Mari who was leaning up against him. The both of them would have their own little conversations every now and then before returning to the bigger chats. After the chats had dwindled down and both Viktor and Yuuri fell asleep, Yuri sat in silence as Mari talked about Yuuri’s childhood. 

For the most part, he knew about a lot of it but some things he didn’t. Yuuri never really spoke about how often he was in the hospital as a child and when Mari mentioned it he was taken aback. It anything, the news only made him more worried and concerned.

The entire situation made Yuri more determined to protect Yuuri. He wanted to look out for his best friend and make sure he was okay. Yuri never wanted to see him like this ever again and made a promise to himself to make sure of it. 

Yuuri’s POV

Viktor kissed him and it had been the only moment of happiness he experienced that whole night. 

He tried his best to put on a happy smile for Yuri and Mari but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. There was too mush anxiety swirling through his body that it became the only thing he was focused on. 

He felt a little like glass.  
Transparent. Thin. Breakable.

The rest of the night he retreated back into silence. He faked sleep as Mari and Yuri spoke but opened his eyes again after they both fell asleep a little while later. 

He laid there in the hospital bed staring up at the ceiling. Yuuri was taking in difficult breaths, trying to get his shaking under control and himself from falling apart like grains of sand, slipping through his fingers.

But he couldn’t and he didn’t know if he ever would.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... Hi people,
> 
> I just want to thank everyone who happens to read this fanfiction, it definitely means a lot. If you couldn't already tell, yes this is the last chapter. To be honest, I'm not a fan of this last chapter and I think in the future I might change it. I'm not sure yet.
> 
> Anyway, I think I might write some more stories soon. Maybe some AOT fanfiction or something, so do look out for those.  
> I'm going to finish this here, so bye guys!

Yuuri had been released from the hospital a few weeks ago. He was kept in the hospital for a week and a half for a lot of testing and check-ups. Everyday Viktor, Yuri, and Mari would come in and spend the day with him for as long as they could. Although Yuri could only make it in the afternoon because he had taken over teaching their students at the primary school.

Yurio would always relay messages on to him from the students, which had been his favourite apart about the day. He was fond of his students and anytime they wished him well he could feel is heart swell. 

Other than that, Yuuri struggled with his emotions. 

He was confined to his own apartment, which left him feeling lonely majority of the time. He was still sick, with whatever it was, and spent a lot of his time curled up on his couch. 

Yuuri wasn’t stupid since having been emitted to the hospital he fell straight back into depression. He felt like the world was pushing down on his shoulders and felt as though a black aura surrounded him at all times. And although he could’ve attempted to fight it, he instead greeted it like an old friend, letting the depression consume him whole. Yuuri was too tired and just wanted to give up.

So he did.

He let his anxiety and depression gobble him up and swallow him whole.

-x-

It was the afternoon when Viktor showed up unexpectedly on Yuuri’s front doorstep.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Yuuri moved to the side and let him in. The both of them walked over to the couch and sat down. Things were more comfortable between them since the kiss at the hospital. Neither of them had really spoken about it but the both of them didn’t really mind. 

They acted like a couple anyway. 

Both of them knew they loved each other and that was enough for them. Viktor had said that he wanted to wait until Yuuri was feeling better and happy again. Yuuri was grateful for that, he didn’t know if he could actually handle a relationship at that point in time. 

Viktor reached for Yuuri’s hands and grasped them in his own. They just sat there in silence for a while, just holding each other’s hands and enjoying the company. 

Viktor had been coming over at random times and just sitting with Yuuri doing whatever. Sometimes they’d talked, or go out for a little bit, or in this case just sit there in silence. 

At first, Yuuri didn’t realise it was something he needed but as time went on he figured out that it was the only thing that was calming him down for a short while. 

But it didn’t seem like that was the case, Yuuri was riddled with anxiety and couldn’t concentrate on anything. He could feel Viktor’s hands tighten around his but he couldn’t feel much else. Everything was blurry and clouded in black. 

Yuuri shook his head, violently trying to blink the blurriness away from his eyes, and he gripped the fabric of his sweatpants tighter. His knuckles lost colour and his throat was dry, making it hard to breathe. 

It was too hot, there was no air inside the room, and he couldn’t breathe.

“Yuuri,” Viktor was shaking him slightly but the sound was distant, it was as if Yuuri was trapped underwater. The sounds were muffled and seemed to come from somewhere far away. 

Everything was floating away from him. He tried to reach for something, anything, but he couldn’t. 

Yuuri was falling, his back being pulled down into darkness. He felt as light as a feather, swaying down into the pit. 

A voice flooded his ears but he couldn’t find the source. “Yuuri, let me help you. Please.”

It was too late, Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to fight anymore. He could feel his senses coming back to him but what good would that do. 

He was laying in Viktor’s arms but Yuuri was already gone. He didn’t feel like himself anymore and he wasn’t sure if anyone could fix it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers,  
> Um this is my first fanfiction, so in no way is it amazing. I actually worked on this fanfiction alongside Seizethesubsea, who created two amazing artworks for this story. You can find her on tumblr and check out the art pieces there. 
> 
> That's it really, thank you to anyone who reads this little fanfiction of mine and if you want to leave any feedback or just a comment that would be greatly appriciated.


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